Cat Eyes

Cat Eyes

Unreal, unspoken words
Seem to twist the fragments
Of your face
Turning
Your Words
Your memory
Our love
Into something false

Into illusions, abstracts
Fading away forever
I don’t know you
I never did
You broke me down
You stole all I had
And kept everything I gave

None of it happened
I look back with
Only knowledge
That you were there
That we were in love
But I do not feel
Feel that it was ever there

I was left
With nothing
Left to die
I have forgotten
It was all a lie
Now I stand
Only able to see
What is now mine

Flashing lights
Colors bright
You were nothing
Compared to this
These lights
These sounds
These sights
These smells

They caress my soul
Wings beating
My heart racing alive
Clearer is my focus
My view

I can’t see
What I once saw in you
You’re violent
And cold
You are not
Who you once were

The last fragment
Of my love for you
Felt guilty
Felt bad
And broke beyond repair
No longer recognizable
You were right
Too much has changed

It wasn’t me at first
Not that I could see
But I did
Yet now it’s you
Who is bitter
Cold and harsh
Careless and cruel

You said you were sorry
You even cried
But your love
Your words
They were lies

I remember
What you did
How could I forget?
I still fell for you again
Not this time
Never again

Now you lie
You cover your tracks
My name
Suddenly appearing
On your friends lips
People I don’t even know
But who know me
Know everything
Know the lies
The embellishment
God forbid they know the truth

They talk to me
I pretend not to know you
They are confused
I don’t care
I am not the same
Because of you

You said that
You wanted to forget
So I moved on
I left you be
Why doesn’t it seem
Like you will
Leave me be

Why do they speak
Your name
My nightmares
They repeat them back to me
With your lies
I don’t want
To remember the truth
Or to know it

I was forgetting
I wish those lies were true
But they aren’t
And it makes me sorry
For more than me
But for you too

I have found
What I thought was lost
In a different shape
A different form
Only there is room for more
More things to live for, to love
Things I once thought
I never deserved
But after you
I came to realize that I did
Deserve this second chance
At love, at life

And you deserve
To hear the rumors
In you head
Never-ending, never silent
Deserve to feel
The pain I held
The hatred and fear
The broken love,
Fragmented memories
The shattered heart

To feel the walls
Closing in
The betrayal, the caution
You deserve to
Feel ripped apart
To relive the nightmare
That I kept inside
For more than a year

Tilla