Back and Forth Violet and Lilac

*The Winter cold is cold and dreary
Sleep making my bones feel old and weary
Memories that consume my soul
Some of them new most of them old

My boots are worn, my socks are thin
Four layers of clothes and the cold still gets in
Since when have I been so deprived, I don't understand
Living off of borrowed things from boys wanting my hand

I borrow and beg for some sort of foundation
Some peace of mind from this cold damnation
One dollar just to get me by, anything you can spare
What am I saying? Does anyone care?

Solemnly walking I see some people stare
Acting as if the neglected aren't there
Whispers behind hands reach my ears
What have they made me in all these years?*

*Nobody here, alone in this world
We try to get by, but no one knows.
A look at our young faces
Wondering if our parents forsake us.

Our bodies are young, but our souls are old
So many lives we lived so bold.
Riches and treasure, warm houses of pleasure
Destroyed one winter night, fire consumed the whole.

Lacking necessities of food and gas,
We're terribly sorry for our pasts
People once there that we have lost
Bringing them back has its costs.

As do all things in life, we have no strength left
Resorting to begging, is this our fate?
Once living life with riches inherited
Were we selfish? Or has life just changed.*

**Out in the cold, shivering closer to death
Whispers telling me to save my last beath
I've gone, yet again, from riches to rags
Desperatly searching for the stability I had

This cycle of life is taking it's toll
Diseased not my body but the core of my soul
All the things I've already discovered
Still waiting for more memories to be recovered

The things I've borrowed and the things I owe
Piling high leaving little left for me to grow
Every cell in my body itching to run away
But my limited options forcing me to stay**

**To provide for them is my only wish
To save them once with the touch of my kiss
If I could get by with what we had
Perhaps they would always take my hand.

With scolding looks for having a lap top
And begging for a little cash
This is not the life I had planned,
I should have the wealth to match

Our souls are accustomed to having more
Our riches turned to rags, who thought we'd be poor?
With sorrow in our hearts, and pain in our eyes
Why do others, who share the same fate, despise?**

***If giving were a matter of life and death
What would one give for another breath
The light of life will eventually die
If you can aid someone in trouble, why do you lie?

For being young and new to this life
I get looked down upon for not being a wife
For not having enough to support my own
For not knowing what other's have known

Forgive me if I seem slightly out of place
This visage that you see was not my first face
The thoughts and the soul of all that makes me
Is not everything that I'm going to be***

Mood Ring

My mood is ever changing
My mood ring proves that so
One minute it's deep sea, calming blue
The next; an amber glow

Sometimes it changes to lime green
Other times it's dead and black
Once it goes so far, so cold
It's hard to bring it back

It's just a mood ring, most people say
And yet it changes with the time
Who says the temperture causes it's bipolar
After all, the mood ring is mine

Perhaps instead it is a soul ring
Reading different aspects of my past
Searching for the answers of this crazy life
Long before my sanity crashed

I'm not just one person
So my mood ring can't decide
Whether I am living or dead
Or who's soul lies inside

The Dead Castle

There’s no one left here but me
In the ruins of a castle by the sea
Once upon a time the walls stood tall
The strongest fortress of them all
A place that I once belonged
For people broken and people wronged
Where fireworks of colored sunsets painted the dark night sky
And broken hearts could once again learn to fly
Evil seemed so far away
Night was as bright as day
The castle once so full of mirth
Now lies in rubble, ash and dirt
In the torn fabric of a stained fine gown
I wander the streets of an empty town
Smoke of fires colored walls red
Everyone here, even me, is dead
Shadows dance in candles flame
Colors of red and black, dark and pain
Night after night, wave after wave
The ocean washes the memories away
Nothing but the sands of time
Could have brought down the home I once called mine
The longer I stay, the more it disappears
Washing away the last moments of blood and tears
I’ve got no where left to run
What is life without a sun?
I can’t stay here if I’m dead and gone
This world in which I no longer belong
Forget this place; well I’ve tried
But my life was here; my heart, my pride
I wanted to go down with the ship
But I survived when the castle was hit
I wander these streets alone
With the ghosts of those I called my own
The past ignores me, my future is dark
All I can say now is “We’re worlds apart”